Tuesday, March 28, 2006


Its just minutes since I had commented on Vasu’s Douglas story…and I have just done something that makes me feeel soooooooo gooooooooooooood.

Yesterday I was watching some investigative documentary on NG .It was close to midnight when I heard something- it was coming from the dining. My maid, Maadhu and I looked at eachothers faces with contorted facial expressions as if to ask, ‘Did you hear that too?’. I am squintin at the dark dining area to see if I could make out whats making that toy-plane-propeller sound. Maadu too gets into investigative mode, and we discover that there has been an unlikely intruder into our home… a dragon fly.

Poor thing has been trying to release from our unintentional captivity. It would try hard to find a way out. It would try and try and try till it gets tired and rests a while before it starts to try all over again. Maadu opened her mouth to suggest that we kill it since its sittin on my dinin wall- our chance at putting an end to a 'threat'… Maadu was under the impression that it would bite… It reminded me thats what I thought when I saw a dragon fly for the first time when I was a kid. It pretty late for Maadhu to still have this misconception. The dragon fly’s size and unconventional looks, earns it wrong judgment … at least in the eyes of children. It cut Maadu short, just as my Mom did once upon a time, to educate her that it was harmless and that it would find its way out on its own. I get back to watching the program accompanied by the occasional sound of desire for liberation. The program comes to an end at half past 1 and I go to snuggle in bed. I go to wash my face and when I come back what do I see? The dragon fly is shifted the location of its search for freedom to my bedroom right next to the window. Its been able to locate the window in my room but cant get out since my dad has nailed down a net to prevent any mosquito attacks. That’s when I started wondering How did this dragon fly get in, in the first place?!!! My dad had turned this house into a fortress which protects its people from the irritating itchy-scratchy mosquito bites – leaving the windows in the hall, all the rest have immovable nets in place. The one in the hall, can slide to open and close. Though that window is open, the nets haven’t been opened since two days… then how did this big dragon fly get in? I should report this to my dad, to bring to his notice a possible leak in his design! Well any way, if the dragonfly was smart enough to locate my window, it would be smart enough to find the window in the hall… I go to sleep.

Come today morning and guess what?! I am busy checkin my mails and strolling thru the bloggo-vard in the morning, when I hear that familiar propeller sound again. The dragon fly has disappointed me… it hadn’t found its way out and is still trying at my window. This time you could make out that it was real tired trying all night. It must have been baffled at the thought , “There is a breeze hitting me, there is the smell of fruits and flowers, I can hear the call of my loved one… but why cant I get past this opening?”- sweetheart that’s simply cos your too big for it. I feel proud that it tried so hard yet so sorry that it hasn’t attained freedom. I want to see it free. I wonder whether there is a way I could guide it out. My brilliant brain thinks of a news paper. I strategise my plan of action: I would wait till its tired and lies on the floor, then I would scoop it up in the news paper and take it to the window in the sitting room and release it. But there might be a problem, the dragonfly might have the tendance to flutter and fly about if I have to carry her on the newspaper. So I polish the idea a lil further, and decide to roll the newspaper into a cylinder big enough to carry it safely without damaging its wings. But how do I get it into the cylinder? As if on cue, the dragonfly flies up to the window net and clutches on to it. I slowly approach her with my newly invented contraption and slowly and carefully get it to circle around our dragonfly. It feels a lil awkward ar first and refuses to get it, but it fights its apprehensions and decides to trust my design and settles in my dragonfly-carrier. I walk fast to the sitting room, careful not to shake and hoping that any insecurity in her/him wont prompt him/her to fly out of my ingenious design. I open the window with the suave and sophisticated ease of 007, then open up my dragonfly-carrier out to the skies. With no shadow of doubt, wasting no time the dragonfly flies out to settle on a tree nearby. Along with it, something in me found release too, something burst out… I don’t know what it exactly was…joy, relief, pride, but by the time its effects rippled to my face, it formed a smile that would make my orthodontist proud (since that would save him and me the trouble of putting a stent-like thing into my mouth to keep it wide open). But why the hell bother on trying to dissect and bisect the feeling?.. all that matters is that it felt GOOD.
The halo around my horns is eye-blinding, today. :) Bonjour, mes amis!

Monday, March 20, 2006

Any takers for Heaven?

Do you believe in heaven?

yes - do you think you'll get to go there? what do u believe its like?
no - why not?
then what about hell- is it there too?

Thursday, March 16, 2006

Aksar hota hai

My thanks to Jaya sweety, Rusty and Vampy, I have revamped my poem, with their help. Thanks guys, u are simply amazing.

Joojhne se thak gaya hai yeh dil
Keh raha hai mujhse
Vahan pahunchna hoga mushkil.
Bujhaa de khwahishein apni,
Haath mein nahi aane wali yeh manzil"

Khuda na khastaa
Yeh meri aakhiri ho

Har kisiko hoti hai taklifein
Uth.Uth ke chal
Kam karde ye doorian, yeh faaslein
Rokta tumhe kaun hai?
Raah teri dekh rahe hai yeh raastein

Khuda na khastaa
Yeh teri aakhiri ho

Himmat de nahi rahi hai mera saath
Akeli hoon, phir bhi
Yeh kaun kar raha hai mujhse baat?
Aur koi nahi ,aks hoon teraa
Maukaa ab hai ,bada raha hu haath.

Khuda na khastaa
Yeh humari aakhiri ho

Darr aur taaqat, sab the mere apne
Ruki main kyun?!!
Be-jhijak dekhungi khoob, ab, sapne
Rokungi nahi khudko,
Jo bhi ho, karoongi uska samna

Khuda na khastaa
Yeh meri aakhiri ho

Monday, March 13, 2006

Ahem ahem... I am brave

Yes I am . Cos I have the audacity to do this. to write a poem ... yeah, I have written one in 6-7 other instances in my life but never ever one in hindi- or is it Urdu! Yes, this is my first ever attempt. *claps with an affirming nod*
How did this happen? My blogroll will tell you that I have been paying a lot of visits to some talented poets and poet-esses . And somehow some of it has rubbed off on me. I cant seem to stop this giggle that bubbling inside me... its ludicrous considering my natural 'talent' in Hindi/urdu ... i know how much of a 'trapeze act' my hindi paper was! I survived it , thanks to the saftey net.
So here goes my dear fellas... feel free to suggest better words, correct me, pour out your opinions ... or else you could overlook it all, labellin it poetic license. hee hee heee he *the halo around my horns glisten*

Joonjne se thak gaya hai yeh dil
Keh raha hai mujse
"Vahan pohonchna hoga mushkil.
Bhujhade khwaishen theri,
Haath mein nahi anewali yeh manzil"

Khuda na khastha
Yeh meri akhri ho

Har kisiko hoti hai thaklifen
Ut.Ut ke chal
Kum karde ye doorian, yeh fasilen
Rukta tumhe kaun hai?
Raah their dekh rahi hai ye raasten

Khuda na khastha
Yeh teri akhri ho

Himmat de nahi rahi hai meri saath
Akeli hoon, phir bhi
Yeh kaun kar raha hai mujhse bath?
Aur koi nahi ,Dimag hoon thera
Moqa ab hai ,badha rahahoo haath.

Khuda na khastha
Yeh humari akhri ho

Dar aur thakat, sub the mere apne
Ruki main kyun?!!
Be jhijak dekoongi khoob, ab, sapne
Rukvaoongi nahi khudko,
Jo bhi ho, karooni uski amne-samne.

Khuda na khastha
Yeh meri akhri ho

to my friends who dont know Hindi- i will soon try to come up with an eng equivalent. or if i fail to do that ... will simple post the translation here :)

Tuesday, March 07, 2006

Blank Noise Project Blogathon- 7th March

The Blank Noise Project was started by Jasmeen Patheja, an artist from Bangalore, to examine the occurances of non-gender-specific street-harassment -harassed(physical/verbal), pushed around, felt up or assaulted .
I am showing my solidarity, thru this post.
We all have been thru it. I know, I have. I hope I could be as courgeous as the other women takin part in this blogathon and write about all my experiances... but , personally, I find it real difficult. The experiances I've had in my school days, are etched into my mind more than the grown-up years - primarily cos you dont know what that experiance can be called back then but you sense that something isnt right and you want to be home to tell Mom about this. When you've grown up you have learnt to deal with these situations in some way. Its another thing that I have been brave through most of these instances. No matter how difficult it was I have come home and told about it to my Mom and Dad. But no matter how iron gloved you may seem from the outside any kind of harassment you encounter while you least expect it, especially when you are doing somethin or wearin somethin that you would have thought in no way would provoke or call for unwanted attention- walk to your home, wear an old loose salwar - home wear perhaps, jeans and a loose T shirt, waiting for the bus, etc.
You go thru an emotional hurricane at the thought of those instances. They are common experiances that women around the world have had, all my friends have had. The last time I had been thru an experiance about 6 years ago when I had been to an exhibition with my mom. I will try to fight my inhibition and write about this lousy experiance. Some bastard in the crowd was pinching my arm and everytime I turned around I couldnt make out this S.O.B. What was I wearing?- a cotton shirt from fabIndia and a pair of old jeans .Then when I moved to another stall, I pretended to be paying attention to the sales guy, while my attention was all on my back and my eyes was looking thru its corners to corner the bastard. I did. I spotted the asshole, I gave him a face-to-face stare . Showed the scum-bag to my Mom. Thought that should be enough to discourage him. But no. He has all the guts in the world to come get another pinch, this time my Mom gave him a reading in full view of the public... even then you should have seen the nerve he had to say , "What did I do Madam?" but his eyes hung in shame while his filthy mouth did the blabber- watchin those eyes were enough for me. F***in Asshole! I am sorry that there has been a lot of swear words in this para- but I hope you can understand my feelings!
I am with the Blank Noise Prject but have a few differences. Agreed that for these sickos it doesnt mater if your wearing a two-piece bikini or clad in a burkha- they will still letch. But, I strongly support, responsible dressing. You have to dress appropriate for the occasion, for the crowd, for the time. Would you attend aboard meeting in a glamorous night gown? Would you prepare a presentation of the expert-level, while it was to be delivered to a crowd of newbies? Would you go clubbing in formal attire? Just like that we women just cant claim to be victims by leaving the onus on the letcher. There are some cases where the uncomforable situation could have been avoided- avoid DOES NOT MEAN LET THESE CREAPS DO THEIR THING AND LET US, THE VICTIMS, GO SILENTLY PUT UP WITH IT OR TAKE GUILT OF ANY KIND, FOR THE WRONG REASONS. I hope I am commin across very clear. Yes, this does reflect on the mental make up of the society we live in. If a guy has lost the ability to look at a woman as just another person, I believe then his parents and bringing up ,might have had a lapse. I am not supporting or finding reasons to justify such bastards, but I am trying to say that every mother has the responsibility of teaching her son the value of another woman.
Its very evidant with the changin times that people(man/women) dont feel safe around people(man/women). The picture of a woman is synonymous with the word 'vitim'. But how wrong an impression is that today cos victims of such harassment arent just women, there are men too. The same goes for the perpetrators.I would like to know if there are people (men/women) who would like to share their experiances? Is the effect of such an occurace just as damaging on the psych when the victim is a man? People, please speak up- u can chose to remain anonymous... but please do make your selves heard.
Here are some more experiances that I have read.
Megha Krishnan (Thanks to you Megha, I knew about this blogathon )
Find more on Blank Noise Project's site

Saturday, March 04, 2006


Been tagged twice. Here are the lists:

Dream partner's traits List (hopefully these traits exist in me too ) tagged by RoadBlogger:
1)A friend, someone I am at ease with. Where I dont have to put up being someone I am not.
2)loves me for the nut I am, and can do that job for a life time.
3)someone who will be there by me for all my endevours, just as i would be, for him .
4)grow to love, understand and respect eachother. acknowledge eachother.
5)someone who will cook and wash the dishes with me, and while we are at it bray a few numbers or discuss news :P
6)someone who believes that each day has all the time you want, to do what you want - paint, sing, dance, go on a trip... all it needs is plannin and the want to do it. i dont have this quality right now, but i am trying to develop it.
7)someone who will be honest and mature enought make a clean breast of any issue that bothers him before the day ends.
8) marriage is a team work and for it to work well, both people should be sensitive to eachother's needs and concerns. just like that, love too needs constant working on it.
9)listening, just lending a ear is a key skill needed in any marriage. someone who is willin to hear you out, when thats just what you need more than anything else.
10)we should be able to enjoy a few common things. in a busy life, its when you can enjoy common things that you can connect.
11) values commitment. and should be able to give eachother our own breathing space. and stands by his beliefs and lemme stand by my own.
i think that kinda covers it.

Here are the people I am gonna tag. so start listing out the qualities you'd like to see in your perfect Lover :
6)Enemy of Republic

Hate List tagged by Enemy of the Republic:
1) Hypocrites- no explination needed. They are the superstars in anybody's hate list!
2) Fakers- agreed that u need some amt of acting to survive. But could never understand and like people who are actors from the time they get off their beds till they are back in them. Chameleons.
3) People who want to be heard more than hear others. These are the wrong people to go to when all you want is a willing ear.
4) Dictators
5) Prejudists, judgmental people who think they 'know' the person without giving a chance. Amateur psychics
6) Back stabbing- these are mostly people who come under category 2-Fakers but are pretty well equipped to give you a fatal blow out of the blue.
7) Picturisation of item numbers and movies that are like a 3hr long item number- it makes me wonder, has the censor board been desensitized with all the skin show? They censor and make a ruckus for all the weirdest things and when they need to pay attention and do something… they are paying attention and doing something –DROOLING.
8) People who cant smile- esp Govt. and bank employees. People who’s sloppy muscles can't manage to pull up their sleeves and conjure a smile.
9) Compulsive flirts.
10) Aishwarya is a very graceful woman but i hate all the hype that surrounds here.
11) hate seeing people litter the roads."paper is bio-degradable anyway!".- yeah, so lets dump it in your neighbourhood. it will be one hellufa sight.
12) Hurt my brother- then you're in the hate list too.

here is the other taglist. List out all that you hate... keep it commin:
1)Me too

Recently I had done the Myer-Brigg's Test after about 2 years. Test tells you what your personality is at that point in time by classifying a person's preferences on a bi polar scales:(1) extraversion/introversion, (2) sensate/intuitive, (3) thinking/feeling, and (4) judging/perceiving. A combination of these scales result in 16 personality profiles. Here is what the test had to say about me, this time : i am ENFP type (Extraverted iNtuitive Feeling Perceiving).
Description 1
Description 2
Ucan go ahead and have some fun doing the test here