Wednesday, October 19, 2005

Lost mind. Smile found.

It surprises me to know what makes me feel happy. Sometimes it feels like the person u know the least about - is yourself.
There was this lush green football ground near my childhood home in Ruwais. next to which there was this lil grassy hill- may be 7-8 ft high. 7-8 ft dont seem much now but it sure did back then.The joy and exhileration I would get in my growing years climbing that hill and then running down .Seeing it in my head- I can feel it in my heart right now. Loved height(still do). Love looking down from my perch. I always had a love of climbing steep surfaces. I, my brother and our friends would get a big cardbord box, rip it open, sit on it and ride it down the grassy steep slopes(11-13 ft high) of the football ground like a sleigh. thinkin about it,I still can feel the rush and the bubbling joy that turns into a joyful scream.
Theres about 3-4 trees I have climbed in my life till now -all of them have been fantastic experiences(esp my first, the tallest of all my tree-climbs - a tall eucaliptus tree at a clinic- f.y.i, wasnt running away from getting a prick, if that was what u were thinkin,genius!) I think I have climbed more walls than trees :)) But that too could be counted on the fingers. Overall- when I think of life, and of things that give me joy- I have done least of the things I enjoyed. But the same lil joy that used to make my heart flutter , still pays me a visit once in a while but in different moments-
When its all sunny the roads are shining in the sun light and suddenly it rains from a lonely cloud-just like standing under a shower. :)) any I stand there for a few seconds (long enough to not catch a cold and enough to indulge in it) doing nothin , sometimes opening my arms and liftin my head to the sky, soaking the sun and rain at the same time.
When the rain unlocks the sweet smell the earth has been clutching onto for so long, and the greens look greener than ever
When an old friend remembers me and I remember them.
When someone surprises me .
When I scheme to surprise someone else :))
When someone shares their greatest joys and excitement cos had they kept it to them selves- their heart would have burst and made a mess- they had to tell Nita. :)
When I see people do what they love and love what they do.
When I see people help eachother.
When I see groups of individuals bond to find a oneness- a collective strength stronger their own,
When we forget we have grown up,
When we forget atleast for a few moments that we ever learnt the word 'inhibition', 'limitation', 'conditioning','society','comply','win','lose'
When I see lil kids do their stuff, their style

I still want to climb trees and mountains .
I still want to dirty my shoes(esp that now i can afford not getting scolded for it).
I still want to run out and roll on the grass.
I still... am on the search for the child within.
I am done with my assignment for the day. Its 5 now -any one commin out to play ? :)

Friday, October 14, 2005

do it myself

wanted to make my own blog skin/template. and guess whats theres a lot of help out there you could use. here are a few interesting links people.,
photoshop support
check them out and let me know if it gets your creative juices active!

Monday, October 10, 2005

Memento of a moment.

Watched Gajini(tamil movie)? Neither did I. Hear its real good. Last weekend I suggested to my brother that we go and watch it. I told him I read somewhere in the papers that it was the remake of the hollywood flick 'Mementos' made in 2000. And guess what!- he tells me that the movie has been lying around in my computer for months now. So i set out to see for myself what in the original movie had made the critics in the paper go gaga . Directed by Christopher Nolan, the movie is inspired from a short story witten by his brother Jonathan Nolan. 'Directed by Christopher Nolan'- found reason number 1!
You'd find it easier to place him when I tell you that he is the director of the Al Pacino and Robin Williams starrer 'Insomnia' and the more recent, Chritopher Bale starrer 'Batman Begins'. I had watched and loved Insomnia. I knew my expectations,they were soaring. Having seen Memento ,now,I should tell you,I wasnt disappointed. and so wouldnt you. A gripping story that sucks you in and in no time , you have become Leonard Shelby, the protagonist. Its the story of a man who has a medical condition called CRS(Cant Remeber S---) Disease - he cant make new memories. For the sake of understanding, its like suffering from a non-existing short term memory. His wife has been raped and killed. In the effort to save her he gets hurt, a result of which he ends up having CRS- cant make memories of moments ever since then. He wants to take revenge .But to take revenge the first thing you need to know is 'I want revenge'. Leonard needs to constantly remind himself that he 'wants' to take revenge. The story tells how this man keeps a memento of every single moment cos he knows that in the next commin moment he'll never remember or know that he had been there.
Its perhaps the first time that I have watched a minimum-blood-and-gore movie and felt like I couldnt watch it to the finish. Why? Leonard Shelby feels no fear cos he cant remember to feel it while I can see,remember,relate whats happening to him and feel that fear- the fear that fails to exist in him owing to his ability to forget .It succeeds in making you understand and treasure our natural ability to make memories. Any movie aficionado will agree with me , that if the story grows on you, then a major amount of the credit goes to the mode of story tellin Nolan has used. The great script,innovative style of direction,brilliant acting makes a beauty of this movie!!! The story is split into 2 time frames -one in Black and White ,moving forward to a unknown point in time and the other in colour thats moving backwards in slices of 5-10 mins to the same unknown point. Wont say any more. cant say anymore. Here is the link to the short story by Jonathan Nolan
'Memento Mori' that inspired the movie.
Sit back and watch a great movie!
Every single moment that we can look back and remember , the memory of it ,is a momento of that moment past. REMEMBER.